46 Questions and then some ......

So today was the "Big Day"..big day meaning that I was finally meeting w/ the next man who was going to cut open my hip..woohoo!
 Dr. M (I am tired of nicknames..keeping it short but sweet)

So after an hour wait in the waiting room at Children's Hospital of Boston (outpatient center) me and literally a room full of babies (so does that give me the right to act like one or is it a "suck it up..your old and can handle this situation"..not sure) I met face to face w/ Dr M..and we had a TWO HOUR conversation..I know I know..unheard of..but for reals..it happened!

Dr M..strolled into the room (first impression =kind) he then preceded to tell me he went over my MRI's from my first surgery at Children's and my X-Rays from Baptist and my notes from My visit w/ Dr Yen (2nd impression=smart, thorough, and kind DR)

Even w/out knowing about my notebook full of questions he said before you ask any questions I want to tell you what my impression of your hip is and what I see from all you test. He said I have Cam and Pincer FAI

"FAI generally occurs as two forms: Cam and Pincer.  The Cam form (Cam comes from the Dutch word meaning “cog”) describes the femoral head and neck relationship as aspherical or not perfectly round.  This loss of roundness contributes to abnormal contact between the head and socket.  The Pincer form (Pincer comes from the French word meaning “to pinch”) describes the situation where the socket or acetabulum has too much coverage of the ball or femoral head.  This over-coverage typically exists along the front-top rim of the socket (acetabulum) and results in the labral cartilage being “pinched” between the rim of the socket and the anterior femoral head-neck junction.  The Pincer form of the impingement is typically secondary to “retroversion”, a turning back of the socket, or “profunda”, a socket that is too deep.  Most of the time, the Cam and Pincer forms exist together"

He then went to draw a picture to help explain Cam and Pincer FAI...not Only is Dr M. a Dr he is a regular Picasso ;)

Surgery recommended: OPEN
Surgical dislocation of right hip
femoral head-neck ostrochrondeoplasty (totally could have spelled this word wrong)
acetabuloplasty
labral debridement versus repair
possible microfracture
possible psoas lengthening

He was pretty concern about the case of extreme psoas tendinitis I have..he will not release the tendon if it still swollen and inflamed like it is currently (to deal w/ this quite painful issue= light stretching, rest, ice, anti inflammatorys  meds, and possible brace to keep it still if it doesn't get better after surgery to get that tendon pure rest so it can finally calm down.) Either my surgeries has caused this tendinitis or my messed up hip..only time will tell on that.  If my tendon calms down after my hip is fixed then it was stemming from my hip..if not than most likely it was from having arthroscopic hip surgery (possible side effect). I wasn't to happy about this info, but it is what it is, and I will have to deal w/ it either way, but he promised it would not be a life long issue..worse case scenario is a brace and crutches for it for a month to give it pure rest once my hip is healed.

So I won't write up all 46 questions..but here is a sampling for all my hip peeps,  for all the curious, and for my friends and family so they can have some of the important info....

1. How long is the average recovery for this surgery:?    6 months

2.How long is the average person on two crutches for?  minimum 6 weeks

3. Average Hospital stay?  5 days..more if I have problems, w/ pain, eating, meds, or crutches, due to stairs in my house I may be sent to a rehab place for a bit afterwards..the first 6 weeks is just resting hip totally

4. Can I get a temporary Handicap pass for my car:? Yes and I should for before surgery and for my recovery (I will work on this ..this week)

5.Will I eventually need a hip replacement even after this surgery?   possibly.. but it may buy me a lot more time

Will i have a CPM machine: Yes

"Continuous Passive Motion (CPM) is a postoperative treatment method that is designed to aid recovery after joint surgery. In most patients after extensive joint surgery, attempts at joint motion cause pain and as a result, the patient fails to move the joint. This allows the tissue around the joint to become stiff and for scar tissue to form resulting in a joint which has limited range of motion and often may take months of physical therapy to recovery that motion.
Passive range of motion means that the joint is moved without the patient's muscles being used. Continuous Passive Motion devices are machines that have been developed for patients to use after surgery."


6. Will I need to have the 3 screws put into my hip during this surgery removed from my hip eventually?   possibly..only if they cause me pain..if I do have them remove it is day surgery

7.What risk do I have from this surgery? AVN....but very rare for this to happen


8. What's going on w/ my left hip? It also has FAI but my right hip is a lot worse..most likely will need to fix my left hip..but since I have had no surgery on it it most likely can be done arthroscopically...after my right hip is all better... (ugh)

9. Will I be having a Cat Scan? will be done before surgery..he uses them for surgery 

10. What should I be doing for meds? Advised that I should take my prescibed Vicodin for pain and to try alleve or motrin (if my stomach can handle it..usually it does not) during the day to help w/ the inflammation.  I will be taking blood thinner injections for 4 weeks post surgery to prevent blood clots (not sure what med that is....and will I be injecting this myself..hmmm..I guess I got to email him that ?..I guess this post is now 47 questions..;)

Another week of the Good and the Bad/ Plus Happy Thanksgiving!

As the title says I had a mix week..of  GOOD and BAD

Went to see Band of Skulls again  in Boston (thank you lil bro)(pic of me and lead singer of BOS)..awesome to get out and see the show..unfortunately it is hard standing at a concert in pain..so I had to go sit down for the 2nd half and take pain pills (first time I have taken them outside of my bedroom)..the concert became more relaxing afterwards that's for sure.  I am quite frustrated that I am having a lot of difficulty standing for any long length of time w/ out a huge amount of pain..ugh!

I am still recouping from my psaos tendon injection which has made for a uncomfortable 2 weeks..I guess my body doesn't like cortisone.. (great another thing to add to my list.. my body is too high maintenance it seriously needs to chill out and go w/ the flow) But this cortisone injection seem to produce a pretty bad flare up w/ my psoas tendon, but it is finally starting to calm down..not sure if I will be doing any more cortisone injections....

I had a night at the movies w/ nine of my friend..(movie name will remain anonymous..lets leave it at that)..LOOOOONG Movies are just hard to sit through at the moment....my friends did hook me up w/ a luxury seat theater (only 3 dollars more) and I had the aisle seat to stretch out a bit..It  was a nice distraction to see the cute shirtless dudes on the screen which again was a distraction from my hip..If you guess the movie..no teasing..everyone has there guilty pleasures ...;)




I had a happy Thanksgiving w/ my family..where I got to mix up sitting and standing and having my family distract me from my pain was just the bonus..I love my family it was a AWESOME Thanksgiving..minus the turkey (I am a vegetarian so It's just not my holiday..but I Love the family part)  Even though my hip is nothing but trouble..I feel very lucky and Thankful for all the body parts that are working well..yay..and thankful for all the amazing, helpful, kind, and inspiring people In my life..I am a very Lucky Woman!

 (Me and the newest member of my family..my little cousin who came here from Ireland for the festivities..soooo adorable)


 Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!!!!

A Full Circle

Went to Children's Hospital today to meet w/ the surgeon who may be doing my hip surgery..I guess I am still considered "young" ..their cut off is 35.. whew..just made it! ;)  So I have come back full circle at the moment since Children's Hospital is where it all began, but this time w/ a different Dr..(No Dr.McCrappy this time around )!
I saw Dr. Great (I like to give my Dr code names to keep their privacy..plus it's fun) He agreed w/ what Dr. Brilliant said after looking at my x-rays and giving me a physical exam.  He said that my impingement was pretty bad on my right side but my left side also has an impingement..wawawhat you say..I am right there w/ you....left side stay strong ..PLEASE!

His recommendation is as followed:

Revision arthroscopy,acetabuloplasty/labral refixation, osteoplasty of head neck junction and possible psoas release VS Open Surgical dislocation

So pretty much what that all means..They need to shave the bone of my head and neck of my hip so it fits into place nicely and stops tearing my labrum (the protective padding for my hip). and maybe release my psoas tendon because it has been in full spasm for two years and the injections don't seems to be helping that much. Unfortunately Dr. Great thinks the only way to do this successfully is through open surgery due to the fact of the damage my hip already has and the scar tissue from my previous two surgeries.  Open Surgery also require putting screws in my hip and having them removed a year from now..plus a lot longer hospital stay and recovery.

Ok the good news (yes there is some) my hip could be fixed once and for all, my pain can go away for the most part (YES!) and I may never need to get a hip replacement ,because of this surgery or at least it will save my hip for a loooooooooooong time from being replaced, and by that point medical science may be able to fix things w/ lasers or something cool like that and Dr's wont be playing w/ knives and scalpels anymore..hey you never know..medical science/technology moves fast!


So now Dr. Great is sending me to his partner at Children's who does the open surgery for this particular surgery to consult w/ him and see what he has to say ,and then I get to make my decsion on what to do.  So I should have more info in 2 1/2 weeks. Until then lots of ice, some water therapy PT for pain, and pain meds..good times...uh not!    But I will try to put on a happy face and keep on keeping on till surgery..cause in my book that the only choice I got! 

Maybe I should be a DR!

So I finally had my Apt. at New England Baptist Hospital (it was a 3 month wait to get this apt) but it was worth the wait..I finally got some answers.  My biggest question I have had since this first began is ...WHY???  WHY did my hip tear while I was working out..(no trauma happened during the work out)...WHY did it happen again less than two years later...WHY did I never get any true relief from either one of my surgeries where I felt like I was my "normal" self again....WHY am I having a problem w/ my psoas tendon and sciatic nerve which I did not have prior to my first surgery..The answer....DRUM ROLL PLEASE

Impingement: Pincer FAI

What is it?

"Femoroacetabular impingement or FAI is a condition of too much friction in the hip joint.  Basically, the ball (femoral head) and socket (acetabulum) rub abnormally creating damage to the hip joint.  The damage can occur to the articular cartilage (smooth white surface of the ball or socket) or the labral cartilage (soft tissue bumper of the socket).

FAI generally occurs as two forms: Cam and Pincer.  The Cam form (Cam comes from the Dutch word meaning “cog”) describes the femoral head and neck relationship as aspherical or not perfectly round.  This loss of roundness contributes to abnormal contact between the head and socket.  The Pincer form (Pincer comes from the French word meaning “to pinch”) describes the situation where the socket or acetabulum has too much coverage of the ball or femoral head.  This over-coverage typically exists along the front-top rim of the socket (acetabulum) and results in the labral cartilage being “pinched” between the rim of the socket and the anterior femoral head-neck junction.  The Pincer form of the impingement is typically secondary to “retroversion”, a turning back of the socket, or “profunda”, a socket that is too deep.  Most of the time, the Cam and Pincer forms exist together.

FAI is associated with cartilage damage, labral tears, early hip arthritis, hyperlaxity, sports hernias, and low back pain.

FAI is common in high level athletes, but also occurs in active individuals."

So lets call My new Dr...um lets see...Dr. Brilliant!  So Dr. Brilliant did x-rays of my hip..used his fancy plasma style flat screen monitor and showed me exactly where my hip is "troubled" I could actually see the hip impingement. This is why my hip keeps re tearing.... yes it is torn again....this is why I am in pain constantly....this is why I am not "fixed" yet, because they didn't actually fixed the problem in the other two surgeries..they only fixed the symptoms and the damage from the problem.

I can't even begin to express my frustration from this realization..if I did this would be the never ending blog post....so instead my advice to anyone who may be going through a similar situation is don't give up..keep pressing for answers..get second, third ,or even a fourth opinion until you get someone who will dive into your case and look at it at from all angles. Dr's are human and they make mistakes....no matter what, you know your body better than anyone else and you know when something truly feels wrong. I have always asked this question of WHY to both my surgeons and I never got a real answer......until Dr. Brilliant.

The  reason I called this post "Maybe I should be a Dr." is because two years ago after my first surgery when I wasn't feeling better I did A LOT of research on hips and I thought FAI is what I had..but my surgeons at the time said no.  I guess in the end I was right!  If I were still talking to my other surgeons I would totally say.."I told you so"  hmmmm on second thought maybe I will....... ;)

So Now I am looking at another surgery...This time fixing the actual problem.  It's a much bigger surgery than my last two, but hopefully this will be the last.  But learning from my own mistakes I do have two more apts set up for second and third opinion before I let anyone cut into me again.  In the meantime I got two cortisone injections. One for Bursitis of my hip (4 weeks ago) and one two days ago into my psoas tendon because I have developed extreme iliopsoas tendinitis due to my hip.  Hopefully this will help w/ the pain while I wait to make my next decision.

On another note I had a Happy Hipster Birthday this week ..Even w/out being able to dance w/ my friends, or wear heels w/ my dress, or even being comfortable sitting down..I still had a lot of fun, because I fed off the energy of my friends and family which in turn made for a very  very happy birthday!

Also having a birthday makes you realize all the good things you have in your life ..that you survived another year through the good and the bad (and besides my hip my year has been great) and it also is a new start for a new year, new hope, and new adventures..so hopefully this will even be a healthier and happier year for me.

Thank You to all my friends and family for making my birthday very special and for always being there for me! xoxox

An Ode to My Hip

It has been six months since my last surgery I had on my hip
and now here I am stuck in bed again trying to get a grip

I do not blame it on the heels, my vacations, or being on my feet at work
I would like to blame it on my first surgeon because i think he is a jerk

I am on pain medcation and muscle relaxers until wednesday at one
then I get to meet with Dr. Fabulous to find out what now can be done

I spent last Thurs in the ER due to sickness from meds and for extreme hip pain
They did their best to help me feel better then sent me home on crutches not a cane

It seems that I have a psoas muscle that is injured from my previous surgeries and now it is to tight
and a hip that seems to be re torned which now is keeping me up through out the night

Four days in bed and counting is truly quite a pain
with a situation like this you wish you could have someone to blame

Hopefully my Dr's this time will figure out the right course of action
I did schedule a second opinion though for my own satisfaction

I am hoping now this will be the last time I will have to be put on bed rest for my hip
because this experience I wish could have been a part of my life that I could have skipped

But for some reason this is the experience that my life has put in front of me
so hopefully after this my hip will last me till I am at least one hundred and three

I said to my sister it's so hard to describe the pain because my head is in such a fog
but she told me she did understand because she has been reading my blog

Thanks for the good laugh tonight Ray -Ray I needed it!

I never claim to be a poet but I am getting a little bored of just writing paragraphs about my hip so I thought I would have some" fun" telling my current situation in a different manner..or hey it could be all the pain meds too...;)

6 Month Anniversary...Cheers! (ps the cheers was sarcastic ;) )

So I had my official 6 month post surgery apt. Lets just say I didn't feel like celebrating afterwords...I marked the occasion by taking my first pain pill in months and laid down in bed and cried! Well as they say it's my party and I can cry if I want to ;) Unfortunately Dr. Fabulous didn't give me the "anniversary news" I wanted to hear...ugh!

So the 6 month report breakdown:

1.Psoas Tendon is in full spasm and will not "chillax" no matter what I do or what they do in physical therapy due to the fact my body has been protecting an injured hip for almost 3 years. so I have a apt on Friday to meet w/ another Dr. to set up a procedure where they will put me under and administer 3 cortisone type injections into different areas of my psoas tendon to try to make it chill out for a bit. A big source of my pain comes from the psoas tendon (the psaos tendon problem is a result from 2 hip surgeries/ a hip w/ a big piece of missing cartilage).

2. Dr Fabulous is sending me for an MRI because my right foot is still numb since surgery..so they want to take a look at my back and sciatic nerve and see if being out of alignment for the past 3 years is causing back problems/nerve problems...

We can't even get to my actual hip to see if it is actual healing/feeling better until we can calm down the surrounding issues..it"s a vicious cycle that seems never ending...these are the things they DID NOT tell me before having my first surgery.
If I wasn't in pain every day I think I could handle this news better but the pain is definitely getting to me and since I have been doing so much more I guess it is making everything worse but I can't just lie around and do nothing...it is a hard fine line to walk on..plus I hate feeling like I am missing out on life due to my freakin hip! Well my 6 month anniversary has taken a turn for the worse and became a full on pity party....:(

So on a brighter note I hope this next procedure works... really how hard can it be to fix a 34 year old woman's hip...seriously!

Ok I hate writing such a depressing blog entry so let me end this blog w/ some happier updates..

My physical therapy has been a huge source of pain relief..especially the trigger point acupressure they do on me...it does provide me w/ pain relief while I am there. Thank You so much T and V!

I went to another concert last week..Regina Spektor..My bro hooked me up w/ AMAZING seats and my hip actually behaved that night so I rocked out and had an amazing time (Regina was absolutely incredible..I recommend that if you get the chance to see her live you need to do it!!!!)..and since we were in the front section..and on the aisle seat..I could stretch my hipster too!

"Hipster in the City"

I spent three days in the city that never sleeps and actually I followed that motto for night one..had to spend the other two nights catching up from that first night ;)

Do people w/ hip issues do well tackling the Big Apple...Well I decide to pursue that question w/ my own "hipster in the city experiment" I am officially 6 months post surgery (yay) so I thought it was time to see how my hip does in NYC..(plus I really wanted to visit my sister and brother in-law)

So I went for a ride w/ my friend to the city..it's nice to be in a car over a bus, because you can stop to stretch and not be restrained to sitting the whole time. My friend did all the driving..so my hipster got to relax..I just took over DJ duties just so I could be of some service while I was sitting there. Car ride was roughly 4 1/2 hours and we stopped twice so..

Verdict: hip survived long car ride as a passenger.

Night one/Experiment one: "Heels Test" (ok I know I said I wasn't going to do this again, but it was NYC and I was wearing a dress..and they looked cute..ok that's all I got for this lack in judgement..oh well..lesson learned...again ;) Heels and Hips just do not mix if you plan on walking around in them for any length of time..if you just want to sit and wear heels then I would give it a thumbs up...but man I am still paying a price for wearing those damn heals 4 days later....ugh. So now I am resorting to my slouchy suede boots..goodbye heels..I will miss you so :(

Verdict: Alcohol / Heels/ NYC not the smartest mix..the alcohol makes you think you can walk NYC on heels. Not good for the "hipster"

Day 2:

Roaming the city: Union Square and Soho. Small strolls is fine for me..but fast walking across busy streets, looooooong blocks, in and out of stores (all things I love to do) my hip didn't love so much...it could have been punishing me for the night before, but by the end of the day I was limping..not good..haven't limped since before surgery. Limping always raises alarms for me so I took it easy back at my sister's house that night.

Verdict: Fast walking: not there yet Chillaxin in an NYC apt..awesome on hip :)

Day 3: Strolls in NYC w/ Proper shoes (natural sport walking shoes w/ Dr Scholls massage gel insoles) and relaxing in the park people watching. Today my sister and I took a nice stroll and chillaxed in a park to have a salad and people watch and relax..with the proper shoes, the non-fast paced walking, the night before of relaxation, and chillaxin in the park= Great for the Hip.

So If your Hip is recovering/ in pain/ or suffering degenerative issues and you head off to NYC just make sure you wear proper shoes, take time to sit and relax, go to a park, limit your shopping and long walking time, and leave your heels at home..you should have a FABULOUS time!

Side note: Tues PT session..psoas tendon SUPER tight and sciatic nerve acting up from overdoing it...ouch ouch ouch....so you just need to pace yourself and be careful in the big city:) On another note I can't wait to go back again :)

I fought the insurance company and I WON!

Soooooooo..unfortunately I had to go 3 weeks w/out any physical therapy..this was not good for my hipster! My insurance company informed me that I only was allowed a certain amount of PT time a calender year . PT is very very important for me, because #1 It is where I get my major source of pain relief from the stretching, the pressure point massage and the traction..this helps me get through the week and #2 This is where I also learned how to strengthen the areas around my hip to protect it from further damage. I am still in the pain management part and just started the strengthening so having it taken away was not good for me and my hip..not good at all! With the help of my PT guy, Dr.Fabulous (wrote a letter of medical necessity), my many phone call to my insurance company (they just love me there) , and the receptionist at my PT place being very persisitent we finally got a 60 day extension for PT..(yay-go team!)!

It is so ridiculous that they pay for my surgery, but not the preventive component..would they rather pay for pain meds and a hip replacement, because I didn't get adequate post care...seriously this was scary for a moment...I am so glad it worked out in my favor, but since I pay for health insurance I really shouldn't even have had to fight for it in the first place!

Rockin Out / Hipster Style

This past weekend I was lucky enough to get to see 3 Concerts...A weekend full of music is my kind of weekend! Of course I did have a little concern about my hip...Standing w/ crowds of people..lots of walking...would there be comfortable seating...all things I never thought about prior to my hip falling apart, but now they are thoughts that run through my mind, because I don't want a fun time to turn out to be a bad time due to my Hipster. So here I am to report back to all you fellow "hipsters" what it was like to go to concerts on a bad hip...

Verdict:

Sat nights show: I decided to be even more experimental(lets call it a science experiment) by wearing heels to the concert (look, I never claimed to always make sense), but I really wanted to dress up to go out to Boston, and I felt heels looked better w/ my dress (plus I haven't worn heels in so long and I really miss wearing them). I also felt that I am 34 years old, and I didn't want to feel like I couldn't get dressed up due to my damn hip. Some of my friends did warn me that this may not be the brightest plan I ever had, but I still did it (yes, I am stupidly stubborn at times). Well lucky for me there were seats available at the bar that night where "Band of Skulls" was performing (by the way..AWESOME BAND..you should check them out) so I did get to sit, but I did get up at times to get close to where the band was...maybe heels wasn't the best idea..My hip was not feeling so "well" by the end of the night ..lesson learned and hey it was for science ;) But If I didn't wear heels then it wouldn't have been a problem at all.

Sun and Mon Concerts
First off, I wore comfy shoes..see I told you..lesson learned ;)
I did have seats for these shows...Having a guaranteed seat is definitely helpful! I did get up to stretch on quite a few occasions because the seats were not "cozy seats". I would say out of everything the walking from the parking lot to my actual seats irritated my hip the most, but since it was for the love of music I guess a little pain is alright;)

Overall concerts and a person 5 months post hip surgery do well together..good to know since I got a few more shows coming up in the next few weeks ;) Rock on!

Hipster in Paradise

My Hipster and I truly needed a vacation! ;)


4 months post surgery and I took another vacation (hey why not..I got to make up for lost time) this time no crutches and no cane, just 3 great people, and a mindset ready for a fun, fabulous, and pain free trip!
Destination: St Martin/Sint Maarten Mission: Accomplished

I am definitely a different woman from 2 1/2 months ago when I traveled to California. For beginners ..




*The plane ride didn't irritate my hip (I didn't
even need my trusty ice pack:)


I went swimming in the ocean













*I was walking on my own




I went snorkeling!!!



I even did some dancing at the clubs!

If you told me two months ago that I would have been walking down a beach and swimming in the ocean I would have thought you were plain crazy, but here I am returning from fun in the sun and my hip is still in one piece AWESOME! (I am definitely able to do much more now than I could after my first hip surgery, so I definitely feel something worked this time around)

Of course my hip wasn't perfect...for all you other "hipsters" out there.. walking in the sand didn't agree w/ my hip, but swimming felt great! Flippers for snorkeling became to heavy after awhile, but I did get in about an hour total of good snorkeling. I also tried to move around a lot so my hip didn't get to stiff on the plane or at the beach. I did pack my cane w/ me for a "just in case" moment (that was Dr. orders), but that moment never happened:). I brought my pain meds w/ me, but didn't need them at all , but I did use my tens unit to help w/ some pain management after my days at the beach which did the trick!




Awesome Vacation N, J and D...Paradise is Nice.... especially w/ you guys!

A Blog Of Thanks/ AKA The Hipster Awards

"It takes a village to raise a child" is a quote that came running through my head after my overwhelming amount of responses from my last post (thanks for reading my blog y'all)...and it has taken a mighty big village to help me and my hipster over the past few years...so I think a special "Thank You Post" is definitely needed...(also there is no rhyme and reason to the order of thanks..just think of it as one big Thank You..because you are all first in my heart)
** I will not be covering the "thank you" for car rides in this post since I think I did a sufficient job of it in my last post...no need to reiterate ;)

Mom: Thank You for being w/ me 24/7 during my first two weeks post surgery, for all the groceries, and for your love, caring, and support..glad your nursing skills came in handy w/ this child of yours..sorry you have to use them so often w/ me xo

Dad: Thank you for being you, for being there as well as for keeping me positive and strong during my surgeries and hospitalizations, for keeping me afloat when I couldn't do it on my own due to circumstances beyond my control, for our fun lunches, for all the rides to my dr's apt's, hospital visits, and surgeries, and for always being there for me..always!!!! xo

E- For Keeping me fashionable while recovering:) For making me my favorite soups when I couldn't cook for myself, for being there for me even when you were having your own surgery, for all your love and support! xo

My Siblings: For always being there, for making me laugh, you are my loves and I am so lucky to have the greatest siblings in the world! xo

Nicola: Thank You for breaking me out of "Shady Acres" and letting me literally take over your pad, dude you gave me your bed for two weeks..now that's a friend! Thank you for always being a friend through the good and bad, for traveling w/ me while I was on crutches, packing for me while I was on crutches, shopping for me while I was on crutches, pretty much helping me out w/ everything...Thank you!

Nance in the Pants: Thank you for breaking me out of "Shady Acres" as well and for "having a talk" w/ my captor at Shady Acres and convincing her to let me go! Thank you for my gluten free dinners and muffins that kept me fed for many days! You made Gluten Free food tasty..not an easy task! Thank you for always being there for me!

Jaxs: Thank you for making Mondays Fun even on crutches/cane, for driving an extra hour a day to get my butt to work, for always keeping me laughing, and for not letting me hibernate when I thought I wanted to..see you know me better than me ;)

KK: Thank You for keeping me employed:) For the groceries, the rides, the dinners, the laughs, for organizing my room when I couldn't (not that I was a super organized person to begin w/..so actually thank you for organizing my room ;) Thank you for my "fancy cane and for keeping me creative by working on our "band" even while I was injured and for just being Special K!!


My Grandparents: For your strength, positiveness, love, and support! For being such great role models of strength and well being! xox

MJO: Thanks for the rides in the wheelchair (not counting the wheelies ;) ) and for all the million of HOURS of conversing about my hipster and for being there for me even when you are over 3,000 miles away! Thank You for helping me experience Joshua Tree National Park even when I couldn't walk! Also Thank you for my L.A. Hat ;)

X: For making me LMAO in the hospital and for my Chapstick (I used the whole thing)..also Thank you for our day w/ Lars and The Real Girl...looooved it!


Delvis: Thank You for literally saving my life in the nursing home, and don't worry I haven't forgot that I still owe you for that! :) Thank you for keeping my mind off my hipster w/ all the laughter, fun times, talks, music, movie watching, and magazines, as well as introducing Steve Earle into my life to keep me musically happy when I was not happy myself!

Mikey: My partner in pain..Thanks for ALL the advice, for being co-president of our support group, and oh yea for convincing me to take that anti-inflammatory med..actually second thought I take the last part back about the meds, it wasn't a Thank you I was thinking of ;-p (JK) and a future Thank You for co-starring/co-writing w/ me in our future adventure show!

JL: For keeping me fully stocked w/ Vampire Novels..it made my recovery a lot more enjoyable when my thoughts were filled w/ Bill, Eric, and Edward!

Judy "My Medical Advocate": For not letting the hospital get away w/ anything shady..and Thank You for all you positiveness, love, and phone calls!

DB/Satelyte Girl: For keeping me filled w/ hope by providing me w/ some Paulo Cohello, for being an amazing role model on how to deal w/ things out of your control, for your wit that always keeps me laughing, and for Truly Understanding!

My Roomie: Thank you for doing all the cleaning while I have not been able to, even though I am sure the house is cleaner for it ;)

AMY: For all the supportive Phone Calls and for letting me vent!

LW: For two of my loves..Dexter and Twilight..perfect entertainment to get my mind off my hipster..Thank You!

Maria: For your supportive words, for picking up the components for my "Hipster Book", for checking in on me when I was on bed rest, and for your kindness!

Dew: For many many many Movies..the Arabic component made it even more entertaining..even though at first I thought my pain meds were playing tricks on me ;)

V and T (The best PT Dudes in the Biz): For keeping me as pain free as possible and for not giving up on me and my Hipster..Thanks for the positiveness..and especially the massages ;) !

Susie Q- For inspiring me w/ her blog and for all the 411..THANK YOU!

Auntie KR and Becca: For delivering me food and love..Delicious and Fun

Dr. Fabulous: For not Killing me during Surgery (just kidding..well I mean I am glad you didn't) Thank You for being a fabulous Dr. who listens to his patients..there should be more Dr's like you!

My Work Peeps: For picking up the slack..hey what can I say..you guys are the best and I work w/ the greatest group of peeps! And for keeping my hair looking good when I could not! ;) **Also a shout- out to our clients at work..what a supportive and caring community I work in ...Thank you so much!!!!

MY ONLINE SUPPORT: Thank you to ALL my friends and family who write me words of support via e-mail, FB, or twitter ..it means so much to me!!!!

and last but not least My Left Hip: Thank you for not giving out on me, because w/ out your "support" I would have totally been screwed ;)

Honestly these words don't even begin to express my gratitude and thanks I have for each and everyone of you..Thanks for being there for me through my most difficult part of my life I have experienced thus far!!!!

Ok, if this was the academy awards the music would be playing and they would so be kicking me off the stage by this point so I am sorry if I have forgot to thank anyone, and if I have I will be sure to dedicate my next post to you!!!!

I am one lucky woman to be surrounded by an amazing group of caring and wonderful people..THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo




*** Ray -Ray ..you rock!****

On the Road Again.....

I am DRIVING again (after 5 months of not being able to drive)..which is FREAKIN FANTASTIC news for me , maybe not for everyone else on the road, but I am not going to worry about that! ;)
I was so excited to go on my first car ride in 5 months that I didn't at first notice the unusually weird noise my car was making, but when I got to my first stop light reality stepped in when I went to push down on my brakes and realized that they were hardly working and that unusually weird noise seem to be tied to them. So after sudden fear struck me I got my car cruising at 10 miles an hour to be safe while I was still on the road (the other people on the road loved me for this.) After an "emotional" talk w/ my mechanic I found out that my rotors on my car were totally rusted due to inactivity..just like myself..my car doesn't like to rest for looooooong periods of time. So lesson learned..If you can't drive, get someone else to drive your car around a bit, so it doesn't rust on you..good times! It wasn't exactly the way I envisioned my first "drive about" but now all is good and fixed and I can drive again and in the end that is all that counts!:)

So I had my 3 month post surgery apt w/ Dr Fabulous yesterday so the brief version of where I am at is as follows...
-I can now drive (yes I know this fact was already stated but I am excited so it is being stated again ;) )
-I can be "hand's free" =no more cane!!!!! (unless I go for a long walks)
-I need to work on my Gait...pretty much I am walking a little funny.. (no laughing at me)due to the fact I haven't walked w/out either crutches or a cane since feb 17th
-My nerve/tendon pain may take a year to go away..ugh!
-I can start slowly doing the bike and the elliptical machine at the gym (yay.. nothing like hip surgery, bed rest and inactivity for 5 months to make you feel totally out of shape))
-Dr. Fabulous wants me to try Celebrex since the Diclofenac made me super Ill
-I am going to have to get a hip replacement in the near future no matter what..."what what", you say..I know, I know..I can't even speak about this component right now myself..

But the news I want to end this post w/ is that I am WALKING and DRIVING..yay..I have waited 5 months to write these words so I am going to enjoy the moment!

A couple of Thank Yous
To J- Thanks for taking me/waiting at the Dr's w/me and being brave or maybe "stupid" for letting me drive your car the moment we walked out of Dr Fab's office

Thank you to Roz, KK, Jax, and JL for taking me back and forth to work every day for the past 3 months ..I will be at your service for rides forever!

Thank you Mama for taking me back and forth to PT every week!!!

Thanks always to my family and friends for your love and support that you give me each and every day and for all the car rides as well:) xo

and a very special shout out to my sister ....THANK YOU for always listening/Love YOU xoxo

WOW I feel like I should be handing out awards w/ all this praise and love! Till next time..

A Cane of a Different Color

For this post, and my "3 month post surgery anniversary" I am focusing on CHANGE! Starting first w/ the obvious change....I got a new cane, thanks to "special K" who was tired of looking at my "granny cane" or maybe she was tired of hearing me complain about it, but whatever the case may be I am now more fashion forward w/ my black and gold hound's tooth color cane. Even though I am not very fond of having to use a cane at least the new one blends into the scenery more, so it is less noticeable (I can't believe how people just stare at you when you are walking around on a cane..it is just plain weird and quite uncomfortable), and since I wear mostly black it blends well w/ my clothes. I prefer not to stand out because I am on a cane...not that I don't like standing out.... just not that way ;)

Last week I had a really rough week...lots of pain (had to go back on my pain pills) and I started feeling extremely depressed and frustrated at what I felt was a never-ending cycle of pain, discomfort, aggravation, sadness and stress due to my hip. Though if I really reflect back to the past 3 months of bed rest, crutches, and staying in ,then I would have to say I have made many great strides in the past few weeks which I should feel is great change and progress..sometimes I have to remind myself of that! I also decided today that I will finally give in and try the Anti- Inflammatory/Arthritis Pill Dr. Fabulous prescribed to me last month (I am not a fan of meds), but now I feel it's worth a shot if a positive pain-free change will be the outcome from taking it ..so let's fill me up a glass of water and....."cheers"!

As a new week is now here I am now also looking forward to hopefully the other changes that hopefully will be coming soon . Which would be A. getting off my cane and B. driving again...not sure if the other people on the road are ready for that day...but's that just to bad ;)

Other Positive Changes: I went for a walk last Monday w/ my cane and my friend J, which was my first real walking around experience since my surgery! Yay!

(above pics of my first "walk about" since surgery :)

Seriously, can I be done w/ this!

Ok from my title I am sure you can see where my mood is at. Seriously though, can I please be done w/ this! I am 2 1/2 months post op and I am still in a fair amount of pain, still cannot walk on my own, and still not driving yet, and I am getting very frustrated!

I don't like to complain..I actually find it is not a productive solution ,because dwelling makes you focus on the pain ,but for the blog I do want to mention that dealing w/ chronic pain is extremely tough on anybody's mental well being , and when you have surgery to feel better and 2.5 months later you are still dealing w/ a lot of pain..the frustration can start to become as unbearable as the pain.

I do constantly remind myself that things could be worse, and I do think it is important to appreciate all the good things I do have (which are a lot), but knowing the most pain relief I am going to get is 75% is still quite a hard pill to swallow, and I am angry that this happened to me! Wow that felt good to say it..I am ANGRY! I am angry that my hip hurts so much, I am angry, because I can't be active like I want to be, I am am angry I have to ask for so much help(because I can't do certain things on my own), I am angry at our health care system does not provide better care and services for people who have health issues, I am angry I have wasted sooooo much time "recovering" , and I am angry that I am constantly worried about my hip( that I will reinjure it or that it will never get better, these two thoughts truly scare me). I would love to have one pain free day at this point, I forget what that was like. Well that felt good to get that off my chest, but enough of that!


Well on to happier things..I have been working more, and I have had very wonderful people in my life giving me rides (since I still can't drive) so I can get back in forth from work, go food shopping, and just getting me out and about so I don't go stir crazy,..THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY PEEPS WHO HAVE CARTED ME AROUND ..I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You all will have a personal driver once I am better! xo

I also got to get out to Boston last weekend for my friend's N's b-day dinner....cane and all! Unfortunately I never got to add pink sparkles to my cane, and of course one of the a guys who was in the band at the Beehive had a fancy wooden cane from Ireland for his broken foot, so my cane just looked so boring next to his and I hate to be boring ;) . The only thing I had going for me at that point was my cane is gray and silver and I was wearing a black and silver dress, so at least my cane matched my outfit ;)

Side note: I just realized that this is my 2nd post mentioning me going out to the Beehive..maybe they will want to sponsor my blog..since they are getting quite few shout -outs from me....but it is a fab place and I do highly recommend it as a fun place to go out if you are in Boston, plus they are very kind to woman on canes and crutches ... added bonus in my book!!!!

Pic at beehive! (also wine tends to take away pain..see smile on my face..that's a "I had 2 glasses of wine so my hip is not killing me smile"..not that I am promoting drinking as a cure....just saying a couple of glasses of wine can be helpful to dull pain when you are out and about w/ your friends and don't want your pain to ruin your time....but once again I need to say I am no Dr.)






Well that's it for now..going to go rest my hipster..Peace Out!

PS. I did finally get to watch the Movie "Sicko" by Michael Moore this past weekend and I think it is a movie everyone should watch..especially if you are dealing w/ any sort of health problem.

Life on a Cane..Week 1

So as of this past weekend..I have ditched the crutches (hopefully for good) and have -upgraded to a cane..woohoo!

Ok not sure if it is an upgrade but.....

#1 My shoulders, arms and hands really needed a break..after 10 weeks on crutches I think my upper body was about to fall apart and I was getting blisters on the palms of my hands..ouch- it was time to say buh-bye to the "sticks" and hello to the shiny silver cane.

#2 If I can stay off the crutches and stick w/ the cane that means hopefully soon I will be walking on my own again and then driving (FREEDOM).

#3 Cane's can be a hit at parties..see pic below..cane took center stage

** It would be a better upgrade if my cane had pink sparkles just to make it more fun...well a girl can wish ;)

So the past two weeks have been big..back to work and off of crutches..now that is what I call progress! Me Likey!

Ok so the down side is that my pain has seemed to increase since I started using the cane..usually I am fine from morning to mid afternoon, but around 3pm the deep pain in my hip starts. Now I am sure this is partially due from going from being inactive for so long and now almost putting full weight back on my hip, but I am no Dr., so I will see what will happen.. if the pain progresses I may switch to crutches for 2nd half of the day (PT suggested that) ,but I am stubborn (never claimed it was a good quality..it just is what it is) ,and I want off of all these "accessories" and back to my "normal" existence and life, so I am trying to deal w/ the pain as best as I can and push through it..again I am not a Dr ,so please don't take my advice on this..it's more of a trial situation for me. I will get back to you w/ the results.

Ok got to try to go to sleep..pain is still preventing me from sleeping comfortably..this really better start to get better soon ,because I could really use some good healing sleep.. Until Next Post....G'Nite

Hipster in Hollywood

So I took my Hipster out west this past week. Had my 6 week checkup on April 27th and Dr. Fabulous gave me the clearance to head out west as long as I promised I wouldn't go out dancing all night....I was OK w/ this stipulation ,because crutches and dancing don't really go hand and hand for me..I also realized a couple of drinks, crutches, and walking also don't go together well for me...but that is another story.



So I am dedicating this post to what it is like to travel after 6 weeks post surgery and on crutches ...lets call it my Hollywood edition:)


So my biggest fear about this trip was the plane ride..6 hours of being confined to a chair, and not much space to move honestly was scaring the hell out of me so much so that I almost forgot about my fear of flying ;) But the day we left to Cali there were clear skies and it was a very smooth flight, so I got to get out of my seat quite often and w/ the help of a cane and the tops of the chairs going down the aisle I got my exercise too (Dr's orders were to move about the cabin every 1/2 hour). I didn't get to achy sitting due to the ice packs and the "walks' and made some new friends on the plane along the way :) Plus my flight attendant had a hip replacement a few years back and totally understood what I was going through so he was a huge help and hooked me up w/ huge bags of ice as well as gave me some very helpful hip advice. I wish I could remember his name, but if you fly on jet blue and have a middle age , bald man, who had a hip replacement and was a professional dancer as your flight attendant then you will be in good hands! Also thanks Mom, K, and N for helping me pack and carry my bags ,because w/out your help there would have been no way I could have done this trip!


Once I was in Cali my mom did get me a wheelchair through her hotel.(Thank you Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica for providing the wheelchair) to help me get around when we did more long distance walking trips..so for Venice Beach, The Getty Museum ,and Joshua Tree National Park I sucked up my control freak nature and went along for the ride, so I could enjoy the sights..my hipster was not going to keep me down. Only bummer was that I could not do the hikes in Joshua Tree National Park..even my wheelchair couldn't make the trails, but I will go back again once the old hipster is better and hike the hell out of those trails ;)


view from my wheel chair..Venice beach


being wheeled around Joshua Tree...as they say sometimes you just got to roll w/ it ;) haha


For the longer car trips (aka..Joshua Tree National Park) I had my Ten's Unit w/ me so I could get pain relief while I was in the car, and it was a huge help, so I am definitely glad I brought it along w/ me for the trip, so if you are injured and have one definitely take it w/ you!


Also if you have great friends while traveling they will drop you off at the front door of places (to reduce walking on crutches) Thank you guys for doing this, it was a huge help!

One thing that did happen was my hands got blisters from the crutches ,because I did a significant amount more walking w/ them while I was in Cali unlike I was doing here ,so I wish I got some kind of covers for my crutches to help (I know they do make them)..lesson learned..ouch!


Another thing is that I didn't want to look back at my trip and remember the whole hip thing so I tried to knock my crutches out of the way for most of my pics....I know it may seem silly ,but that was not the part of the trip I wanted to remember :)
Sitting you don't need to have crutches, and you can take a pic w/ out them in the way:)
Standing..all about balance..and weight shifting to your good leg..but you need someone to hand you your crutches afterwards or then you will have a problem ;)

or just cut them out of the pic all together by getting a shot of the neck up :)

All and All it would have been easier and probably a little more enjoyable if I wasn't dealing w/ my hip pain and the crutches, but on the same note I am happy I went and it was good for my mental well being! Sitting around in pain in your house for 2 months is not good for anyone! It also showed me that I am at the point where I am definitely capable of doing more and w/out so much pain meds..I only used my vicodin at night and stuck to aspirin during the day.

Hopefully I can start to transition off my crutches this week and start using my cane ,and then get rid of all the "accessories" soon! I am officially starting back to work tomorrow..yay.. I think I am finally starting to see that light at the end of that tunnel people keep talking about ;)

Thanks to my mom, my lil bro , K, N, and M for being so helpful to me during this trip and for watching out for me and my hipster ..Thank You- Thank you- Thank You..it was a fun and fabulous time!

Later Dudes ;)

What my hip is worth???!!!

OK so I was going through all my insurance paper work tonight (yes don't be jealous of my Friday night fun...oh whatever I will be in Cali in a few days making up for it) and I started getting curious about how much it costs to have something happen to you that is physically beyond your control. I did not injure my hip/ have an accident just a case of bad luck w/ an "abnormal" body part.....well how much does that bad luck cost....let's just say I feel very lucky to have insurance.....very very lucky!!! So here's the breakdown......

Initial ER Visit: 3,932

SURGERY #1
New patient Dr. Apt: $537
x-rays: $537
cortisone injection: $763
Arthrogram Mri:$2,129
Dr visit: $288
Dr visit: $288
Nerve Testing for my foot (damage from surgery): $3,100
Pain Clinic Dr Apt: $205
Pain Clinic Dr Apt: $437
Hip injection w/ Anesthesia: $2,291
Anesthesia for surgery: $1,595
Hospital fees for supplies.meds, and tests/labs: $5,192
Respiratory Supplies/tests: $951
Hospital Stay Plus Surgery: $30,953
Dr visit: $236
Another Mri Arthrogram: $2,129
X-ray's $76
Dr. visit @ Baptist: $350
x-ray @Baptist: $314
x-ray:$76



SURGERY #2
Initial visit w/ Dr. :$373
Cortisone Hip injection: $1,888
Office Visit# 1: $96
Lab Work:$ 105
Cortisone injection: $1,717
Cortisone injection: $1,888
Dr. Visit: $145
Arthrogram and MRI: $2,129
Dr. Visit:$165
Anesthesia: $1,430
Lab Work Day of Surgery: 162
Hospital Stay: $8,456.42
Surgery $5,500


Physical Therapy (so far) $10,093
Tens Unit/Estim Kit: $832

GRAND TOTAL (so far): $91,358...woah seriously for that much money I think my hip should have super powers...seriously!

**This amount is not including Visiting Nurses, Pt, and OT as well as my stay in the Nursing Home (have not received those statements yet), or all my out of pocket co-payments,all my meds,or how much work I have missed due to all of this. Crazy! Not really sure what to make of all this info....

5 Weeks Out...come along for the ride

It has been a weird week this week..it's been a roller coaster ride that I would like to get off of.....now!. My emotions have been all over the place. Frustration that I am still in a lot of pain as well as the feeling of sadness that I just spent the last 60 days in pain and on bed rest( It feels like I just lost 60 days of my life)...I know that in the grand scheme of things 60 days isn't a huge amount of time, but being in pain constantly as well as not living your normal daily life can do a number on your psyche. I decided at the end of the week that I have grieved my circumstances, and my 60 days lost ,and now I need to suck it up and move on.....bring on the positive vibes!

The reason I am even mentioning this is that I feel when people go through surgery the physical pain is always the topic of discussion not the emotional pain, and trust me it is a blend of both that has made this week a rough one. I want to stay positive ,but constant pain can wear you down . Also losing a lot of my independence do to being on crutches (just showering and making lunch becomes a whole production that can tire me out. I am sick of feeling like I am 80 years old..(not that there is anything wrong w/ being 80 but at 34 you don't strive for that 80 year old feeling...that time I am saving for my future ...down the road...way down the road). Also I am feeling angry at my hip..pissed off that it is messing w/ my life! I don't want to be having a pity party for myself, because that doesn't get you anywhere ,but i think it is OK to grieve your situation ,be angry at it ,but then you got to move on, so i feel that is what this past week has been for me. Also being on pain medication ..while very helpful for my actual pain (and has got me through the past 5 weeks) can also mess with your emotions it just make you feel not like yourself which adds to the roller coaster ride I talked about at the start of this post. Bottom line: surgery #2 recovery has just been more painful for me physically and emotionally..I hope the final results will be worth the pain!

Well now the positive parts:

pos #1: I have definitely gotten faster on my crutches...now I am not just saying this to show off that I am super stealth on crutches (which I am ;) )....I feel being faster on crutches means my hip is healing and that is why I can move around better....which in turn may be that my time on crutches may be getting closer to coming to an end!

pos#2: I am showering w/ out help...having strangers shower you is not as exciting as one might think....please trust me on this;)

pos#3: On our one nice day outside I did get to sit on the bench in front of my house to catch some much needed vitamin D and I did some walking w/ my crutches on my sidewalk..which felt damn good! My new "vampire chic" look may be coming to an end! Don't get me wrong I mean I am still keeping my hair black I just may start to actually not look like death anymore.

pos#4 Finished my last sessions of visiting PT and OT and I am now released into the world of outpatient PT..which means I am inching closer to getting back to getting off crutches, working, and driving again/ aka my normal life.

I want to give major shout-outs (do you do shout-outs on blogs..well whatever.. it's my blog I can do what I want ;) ) to the people this week who have been listening to my venting via phone or email, and the peeps who have come over to hang out which in turn took my mind off my hip as well as put a smile on my face..you know who you are and I GREATLY appreciate it...Thank you sooooooo much!!!!!!

As one of my favorite quotes goes "The secret to life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times." Thank you to all the people who have been helping me get up and stay up this time around...it hasn't been easy, but I feel I am very lucky woman to have so much love and support from amazing people ,and for that I am doing my best/my part to be my strongest self...so cheers to the upcoming week and hopefully a lot more progress!

4 Weeks Out

Wow..seriously has it already been a month! In some ways this has been the longest month of my life, between surgery, hospital stay, nursing home, crutches and extensive bed rest but on the same note I also feel like I can't believe it has already been four weeks (maybe it's the pain meds).

So it is a little disappointing that I am still in soooooooo much pain 4 weeks out, but on the same note I am putting more weight on my hip/leg and I am moving faster on crutches w/ the partial weight bearing, and reduced my pain med intake ..so that my friends I guess is progress..so I should be happy about that! I think I will be smiling more once I am getting out and about, driving, working, and lacking pain. I go back to the Dr's at my 6 week mark, and I am also going on vacation on my 6 week one day mark(planned prior to hip falling apart round 2) ....so keep your fingers crossed for me that I will be ok to do this, and maybe with even extra luck I will be doing it off crutches..a girl can only hope:)!

Still Chillaxin at home this week and having visiting OT and PT coming to my house ,and then the following week I will be starting outpatient PT and HOPEFULLY going back to work part time (never thought the words " I can't wait to go back to work" would come out of my mouth but there you have it..I really want to get back to work..I actually miss working.... A LOT)

Sleep is still difficult...hence posting at 1am..again. Just can't get comfortable..I cannot for the life of me remember how long it took me my last hip surgery to be able to lie on my right side when sleeping..hopefully soon I will be able to ,because I don't think I will be getting the sleep I need to heal until that can happen..talk about a crappy catch -22.

The actual incisions are healing nicely, they are much bigger than the first surgery incisions ,but in the grand scheme of things they are still relatively small and the least of my worries because they are healing..yay! Not much else to report..so my progress report at this moment is healing slowly but surely...but they do say good things come to those who wait...here's hoping they are right! Cheers!

3 Weeks Out

Is it possible to get runned down while you are on bed rest??? Answer= yes in my case, which is quite frustrating. It is so hard to sleep when you are in so much freaking pain. It seems like the pain has gotten worse the past few days. It is not just confined to my hip ..it is my whole right leg. Hip and groin hurts from surgery,but it feels like I have the flu in my leg(especially thigh and calf area..really achy), and pins and needles in my foot (hopefully it is temporary nerve damage from the traction table during surgery). I actually have increased my pain meds due to all of this. I have been doing more w/ physical therapy this week which could attribute ..does the saying "no pain ,no gain" apply here??? I hate complaining, but it is just one of those days ,and it is my blog so I guess i can vent if I want too ..heehee;)

I think the hardest part I am struggling w/ is that I have already been through this actual recovery once before, and here I am again not even two years later having to go through this whole process again..double ugh!!

I am still on "bed rest" (going on 6 weeks 3 before surgery/ 3 after surgery)meaning I haven't left my house (can't drive yet), haven't been outside (seriously when will this rain stop!) and I am not physically able to work yet, so I am pretty much been confined to my home ..thank god for friends/family who have come over to chillax w/ me and/or watch a movie and keep me in touch w/ the outside world! I just hate wasting time ,and I feel like sitting around "recovering" is just that..I know that sounds very negative, but I like being active and having no choice but to be inactive is truly frustrating! I wish I had some advice for myself on how to get past this frustration, but I don't, so I am doing my best to try not to let it get to me.

ok..on a positive note...I have read 23 books so far while I have been on bed rest, so I finally have caught up w/ a lot of reading I have wanted to do..plus books make my mind focus on the story at hand and not on my hipster! I have a vacation planned for 3 weeks from now that I still will be able to go on (I do hope I am off of the damn crutches by then ,but what will be will be, at least I get to still go..see..stayin positive ;)) and I am doing better w/ the partial weight bearing, I did couple laps around the house today and the stairs 4 times. I think I will stop writing for this evening and end this post on a positive note..goodnight:)

2 Weeks Out

I am a little over two weeks out from surgery...the first week was spent mostly in the hospital and the nursing home. I was on such heavy duty pain meds and had ice packs on my hip constantly that I don't recall much pain in my actual hip. It was mostly pain from surgery..swelling..sick from meds...no sleep/exhaustion due to not being able to get comfortable in the hospital bed as well as being woken up by nurses, loud noises etc.. =hospital stuff.

After I was finally released from the medical community (rescued would be a better term) my bestest friend (Thanks N) took me in since she had a one floor condo..easy access to bed, kitchen, and bathroom. Through my insurance I have received care from visiting nurses , visiting physical therapist , and visiting occupational therapist to come to the condo as well as to help me out w/ my recovery. I did not get this help my last surgery, because no one told me I could actually get theses services. Having the visiting nurse, PT, and OT come to the house is very helpful, they check my stats and meds, they change the dressing from my surgery ,and help me to get around better on crutches. I feel this help is making my transition back to the "real world" a lot smoother..less chance of injuring myself (which is always a possibility when you are using crutches).

I had my two week check up w/ Dr. Fabulous and he was happy w/ the results of the surgery. He told me that I had an impingement of my cartilage (again) so the flap of cartilage that was caught in my bone which was causing me the bad sharp pain and the deep ache he removed and debrided. Also I had other tears he debrided and my hip lining was inflamed so he cleaned that out as well (I will have the official medical jargon for my surgery once the official surgery report gets mailed to me) I also got pretty take home pics of the inside of my hip and surgery..which I actually thought was pretty cool.. So I have been doing a lot of show and tell w/ my friends w/ the pics;)

I got my stitches out too..yay(stitches out =real showers again..no more sponge baths for this girl...ever!) I was told that the pain from the 2nd surgery is worse than the first..wish I knew that piece of info ahead of time, but now from experience I can say that piece of information is very true. I still am on my my pain meds because the pain is still pretty brutal. Dr Fabulous said the pain can last up to 3 months or even longer..ugh! The good news is that he said I should be feeling significantly better once the pain dies down and my hip starts to heal..yay! He said my hip will never be 100% since it has missing cartilage and is now considered "abnormal" but I could be 75% better. He also told me that my Psoas tendon may or may not be better from the surgery (first surgery irritated my psoas tendon so much that it has been tight and swollen for almost two years..they talked about doing surgery to release it but I was like "hells no").. so now it's a wait and see situation..if it does not get better his next suggestion for my tendon would be to inject botox into it....hmmmm..not a place I ever thought I would need botox but and interesting idea nonetheless..but that is down the road...we shall see. I go back to see him again in a few weeks so I should have more info then..I am still in the "recovery phase" for now.

I am now doing partial weight bearing on my hip as tolerated (so still on crutches..on the positive side my arms are getting super strong) As of tonight I am officially back at my house, because I have been upgraded to do stairs... VERY CAREFULLY.

Pain currently: While I am resting in bed I can have pain free moments but I am also still taking pain meds, as well as aspirin, and will be starting a prescription antinflammatory med tomorrow (still lots of swelling). I think I am handling the pain better this time due to the fact that I have been here before so I was somewhat prepared mentally to know what it would feel like. It is interesting how your hip effects your lower back ,your knee, and your calf ..all these areas have been giving me a little trouble on my right side (which is normal I have been told). Plus I get these weird electric shocks throughout my calf and where my incisions are..I was told those are my nerves that have been "injured" during surgery..hopefully that will start to go away soon as well. The incision area is now less sore to the touch than it was a week ago. ICE IS NICE..literally the best thing for the pain is a very cold ice pack..it works wonders! Sleep has been hard since I sleep on my right side and I currently can't. If I even roll over on my right side while I am sleeping I wake up in a huge amount of pain then it is hard to go back to sleep. The time I feel the most pain is when I am sitting (sharp pains in groin/ hip area and achy) or walking(just pain- hard to describe..different pain from pre surgery). I pushed myself more today by doing the stairs a few times, walking outside on my driveway, and sitting outside for a bit, even though it was uncomfortable I felt I could do it..something I would not have been able to do last week..so improvement..and that is all I am looking for.

Well I am tired from my first actual long day so I am off to bed.. and hopefully get some much needed sleep! Nite;)

My 24 hours experienece in a nursing home/aka Welcome to" Happy Acres"..please enjoy your stay!

One of the first things I did when I arrived I called up my 88 year old grandmother to let her know that I made it to a nursing home before she did. Talk about a surreal experience ..this one was for the books.

After 3 days in the hospital I was transferred to a nursing home..I was told it was a rehab facility, but when I was brought there my roommates were two 90 year old woman..one was talking to her doll and the other was screaming at the nurse accusing her of trying to kill her. This place sure looked like a nursing home..rehab facility my ass! I begged the ambulance drivers to bring me back to the hospital or just let me ride around w/ them at this point anywhere but here. I saw the sympathy in their eyes, but they couldn't do anything about it..they did tell me if I could find an alternative setting they would have no problem bringing me back.

Backtracking for a second..I spent 3 days in the hospital due to my hip, lungs, and not being able to tolerate any food, but due to insurance companies (a whole other issue that I should blog about) the hospital wanted me out of there asap, but since I was still pretty sick and could not return to my home due to the stairs- a rehab facility was the option that was picked. Unfortunately I had no choice in the place I would be going to according to the nurse/case manger of the hospital floor...if I wasn't so drugged up on meds I may have been able to stop this situation, but since I was and didn't have anyone w/ me at the time in the hospital..I was packed up and shipped out to "Happy Acres" (not the real name ..protecting the identity of the real place) . After the fact I found out that there were many other places that would have excepted me and my insurance. Somewhere that would have been geared more to someone my age, but that is now in the past. I can't change what happened so lesson learned but I will be making a complaint to the hospital so hopefully it won't happen again to someone else.

So "Happy Acres" was honestly out of any nightmare you would have about a nursing home...it was quite dirty, one nurse to a floor, screaming old people who were scared. I really thought maybe I was having a drugged out nightmare from the morphine, but since I could feel the pain in my hip I knew it was for real. To add to the nightmare..my pain meds as well as my other meds for nausea and allergies were not transferred so now I was suffering physically as well as mentally (I finally received them at midnight). Then the kicker was the fact that I also have celiac which means I cannot have any food w/ Gluten in it which this facility was not prepared for. Then for the icing on the cake was the bed I was in was making my leg and hip numb..at first I thought "Houston we are having a problem here, something was seriously wrong w/ my hip", but then I realized the bed they put me in had my hip in hip flexion, so it was making my whole hip situation worse causing more swelling and pressure. I told the nurse this and she said it was an old bed and that they could maybe get me another one in 24 hours..in 24 hours I think I would have to have surgery again if my hip stayed liked that..literally my whole leg was numb. Thank goodness for the friends who were there w/ me that night ..two brought me gluten free food and one of them fixed my bed by unscrewing the bottom so it stopped crushing my hip. I need to give a shout out to my peeps who were with me that day..Mom, M, N, N, and D....not sure if I would have survived that experience w/ out you..seriously! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After everyone I knew left me there..I put on my ipod and tried to pretend I was somewhere else..it was hard with the lady next to me reciting her life story throughout the whole night by herself..in a different situation I would have probably started laughing or sat down w/ her and asked her questions ,but pretty much 3 days w/ out sleep and extremely bad pain I was in no mood to find anything funny so I just try to tune it all out..thank you Norah Jones and Lucinda Williams.

That morning my friend N informed me that I could stay at her place for the first two weeks of my recovery since she didn't have stairs and that they were breaking me free from the nursing home...YES! The Charge nurse came into visit me shortly afterwards and told me that she didn't feel that me leaving was the right thing to do and unless she deemed it medically ok..I couldn't go. Well that wasn't going to happen..so I explained her the situation as carefully as I could..I may have added a few tears in as well...she agreed to let me go and send visiting nurses and Pt to where I was going. So for the rest of the day I had to endure one very awkward sponge bath, and then by 4pmish I was rescued...YAY!

I really hope the only time I will ever return to a nursing home is if I volunteer in one (which I think would be a good idea at some point ,because it sure looks like they could use the extra help) It just wasn't the place for this current situation...it was definitely the strangest 24hours in my life thus far.