Monday, June 1, 2009

Seriously, can I be done w/ this!

Ok from my title I am sure you can see where my mood is at. Seriously though, can I please be done w/ this! I am 2 1/2 months post op and I am still in a fair amount of pain, still cannot walk on my own, and still not driving yet, and I am getting very frustrated!

I don't like to complain..I actually find it is not a productive solution ,because dwelling makes you focus on the pain ,but for the blog I do want to mention that dealing w/ chronic pain is extremely tough on anybody's mental well being , and when you have surgery to feel better and 2.5 months later you are still dealing w/ a lot of pain..the frustration can start to become as unbearable as the pain.

I do constantly remind myself that things could be worse, and I do think it is important to appreciate all the good things I do have (which are a lot), but knowing the most pain relief I am going to get is 75% is still quite a hard pill to swallow, and I am angry that this happened to me! Wow that felt good to say it..I am ANGRY! I am angry that my hip hurts so much, I am angry, because I can't be active like I want to be, I am am angry I have to ask for so much help(because I can't do certain things on my own), I am angry at our health care system does not provide better care and services for people who have health issues, I am angry I have wasted sooooo much time "recovering" , and I am angry that I am constantly worried about my hip( that I will reinjure it or that it will never get better, these two thoughts truly scare me). I would love to have one pain free day at this point, I forget what that was like. Well that felt good to get that off my chest, but enough of that!

Well on to happier things..I have been working more, and I have had very wonderful people in my life giving me rides (since I still can't drive) so I can get back in forth from work, go food shopping, and just getting me out and about so I don't go stir crazy,..THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY PEEPS WHO HAVE CARTED ME AROUND ..I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You all will have a personal driver once I am better! xo

I also got to get out to Boston last weekend for my friend's N's b-day dinner....cane and all! Unfortunately I never got to add pink sparkles to my cane, and of course one of the a guys who was in the band at the Beehive had a fancy wooden cane from Ireland for his broken foot, so my cane just looked so boring next to his and I hate to be boring ;) . The only thing I had going for me at that point was my cane is gray and silver and I was wearing a black and silver dress, so at least my cane matched my outfit ;)

Side note: I just realized that this is my 2nd post mentioning me going out to the Beehive..maybe they will want to sponsor my blog..since they are getting quite few shout -outs from me....but it is a fab place and I do highly recommend it as a fun place to go out if you are in Boston, plus they are very kind to woman on canes and crutches ... added bonus in my book!!!!

Pic at beehive! (also wine tends to take away pain..see smile on my face..that's a "I had 2 glasses of wine so my hip is not killing me smile"..not that I am promoting drinking as a cure....just saying a couple of glasses of wine can be helpful to dull pain when you are out and about w/ your friends and don't want your pain to ruin your time....but once again I need to say I am no Dr.)

Well that's it for now..going to go rest my hipster..Peace Out!

PS. I did finally get to watch the Movie "Sicko" by Michael Moore this past weekend and I think it is a movie everyone should watch..especially if you are dealing w/ any sort of health problem.

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