Tuesday, January 5, 2010

WAITING

So I am on 7 week countdown till Surgery...ugh!  On one hand I want to get this over w/ because I want to put this behind me, but on the other hand I feel like time is moving to fast and I am not prepared for it mentally or physically. So I decided to blog my list of concerns to get them out of my head and on paper (well you know what I mean) maybe I will find a solution while I write and maybe someone out there in the internet universe will have some good advice for me:)

1. I have a distrust for Dr's now (no offense to any DR's who might read this but It's my blog so pretty much I can say what I want ;)) I just feel like I have had two unsuccessful surgeries ..quite a few misdiagnosis..and this surgery seems so much more extreme so my trust in my Dr's needs to be there(and unfortunately it is not) and I am struggling w/ this ..Don't get me wrong I do like my surgeon (just in case Dr M reads this..I DO LIKE YOU AND PLEASE DON"T MESS THIS SURGERY UP I AM COUNTING ON YOU ;) ) , but I have doubt ..something I did not have during my previous surgeries..but it is a direct result from those surgeries..how ironic.   I am going to NYC in a week to double check one last time that I am doing the right thing by having this surgery, so I have an apt w/ the famous Dr. Kelly "Hip Surgeon to the sports stars".. and one of my friends as well (on that note..hope you are feeling much better S!) I will get back to you with my results from my visit when I get back.

2. Because I am human I have what you would call "The Fear of The Unknown" I have never had open surgery and I am scared of what the pain is going to be like afterwords and how long the recovery will truly take..I know how long it took to recover from the other two surgeries and they are considered "minor" compared to what I will be going through in February.

3.I am trying to prepare my physical surroundings since I know I will be on crutches for awhile..so i have a lot to do to get "prepared" for surgery while I also try to do all my everyday life things which seem to be piling up currently....excellent.

Ok well here is stuff I am doing to try to deal w/ these issues...

1. I filed for my handicap driving card so I don't have to worry about parking/walking while I am currently in pain and while I am recovering (I was told to do this for my other surgeries but I never did but this time I am trying to do everything right to protect myself and my hip)..Dr M got me that paperwork quickly (1 point for DR M..speedy w/ his paperwork..he actually fed ex it overnight to me)

2. I have been asking around about support groups for people w/ chronic pain..I think maybe talking to people who have gone through a similar experience who understand what I am going through will be helpful for my mental well being..I don't want to throw a pity party..what I need to know is how to learn to cope w/ chronic pain so it doesn't take over your life and I feel the way you can learn best on how to do that is by talking/learning from people who have experienced it ..so I am working on that... I have joined a group online for people who also have FAI and I have gotten a lot of helpful feedback from the people on there..so Thank You FAI peeps;) You don't want to burden your friends and family w/ your problems..I really don't want my hip to define me when I am w/ my family and friends so I think talking to people who are going through something similar is the best way to handle this but finding a support group is harder than I thought it would be..but I am working on that

Waiting is hard..because you are in kind of "limbo land"..I am in pain so I can't function normally but I also don't like wasting time and feeding into my pain/hip so I am trying to function as normally as possible w/out causing more injury to my hip.  Also waiting gives you to much time to think.  My life right now is kind of like a waiting room at a DR's office..Busy/ stressful/ a little nerve wracking/ just waiting somewhat patiently to hopefully meet that DR who will make me all better.

Well I am off to write a list of what I need to have done before surgery day (I always find lists satisfying..especially when you start crossing things off)

On that note thanks for listening...and goodnight ;)

6 comments:

  1. Hi SJ -
    I am in the waiting period also. My surgery with Dr. Yen is scheduled for February 5. I've never been through this before, and I am horribly worried. There are so many non-success stories regarding this surgery - I really don't want to end up in one of those situations (no offense!).

    Never having been through this before, or any surgery for that matter, do you have any advice for how I should be preparing my physical surroundings for crutches? I am actually moving the weekend before the surgery out of my apartment with stairs, narrow hallways, and other dangerous hazards into an open studio apartment. It seems crazy to take on moving right before surgery, but I have to be in a place where crutches is not going to be hazardous to my health! I'm the only one to whom it seems to make sense.

    The only thing I have purchased is a shower seat. I was also told to invest in a backpack and slip on sneakers. Any other tips?

    Hang in there. You are in good hands with Dr. M. And take care.

    -Kate

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  2. Hi Kate-

    waiting really does suck..sorry you are going through this too...to bad our surgeries weren't booked on the same day ;) Dr yen really seemed great and I think you are in great hands!I really liked him when i met him and felt he was very knowledgeable and honest and wouldn't do anything risky to a patient.

    A few family member and friends today did remind me that yes the unknown is scary and yes I don't know what the outcome will be but I can't live the way I feel now so the hope is that this will at least make it feel better than it does now and if that is the best it will do than it is worth it.

    Unfortunately the hip is a very tricky body part that they don't have down to a perfect science yet but I guess having hip replacements at our age is not a good idea for many reasons..I guess at one point if you had our problem you would just have to suffer till you were qualified for a hip replacement sometimes suffering to the point of being disabled and that is no way to live either if you can avoid it..I guess what I am trying to say is at least we have hope for having a successful surgery and even if it doesn't make it 100% better it will make it somewhat better and that is better than nothing..the one thing I can say..my surgeries have not made it worse..I just never have gotten full pain relief (and now i know why) w/ that said I still have traveled a lot in the past year and have had a lot of fun times pain and all so don't worry about the unsuccessful stories..no matter what eventually we will be fixed I can't guarantee it will happen the first go around but even in the past few years they have made more advances in this surgery and we are in a good hospital! See I am more positive today ;)

    Crutches: Open Studio apt..very smart plan! I think it is actually a brilliant idea to move before your surgery to a safer surrounding..stairs really suck w/ crutches (and heavy doors)so you are on the right track! Backpacks for carrying stuff around and plastic bags/canvas bags w/ straps to put your arms through are all helpful. Already prepared food because cooking will be difficult the first few weeks..shower seat..very smart plan..I also got a lifted toilet seat (yes embarrassing to write this) but sitting on a low toilet is quite difficult/painful after this surgery. Also they gave me a "grabber" gadget at the hospital to help pick things up off the floor if I drop it and can't bend to get it..it also helped w/ putting on socks and sneakers...just make sure you have clear pathways..no throw rugs on the ground to slip on..lots of comfy sweat pants and clothes washed and easily accessible to wear for the first few weeks...because you will have swelling. What I can say from my past experiences is that the first two weeks are the worse..it does get better after that..when you are in the hospital you won't feel much pain..because the do put a numbing agent in your hip during surgery and they really drug you up post surgery..the biggest problem may be feeling sick from the meds..for the most part I don't remember being in much pain till I got home and got off the major drugs..the groin pain will feel worse at first and the surgical pain but I went to California 6 weeks after my 2nd surgery (and had fun even on crutches) so just know by 6 weeks I was doing a lot better.

    Any advice or if you want to chat always feel free to write..it's nice to have a support system of people going through similar situation ..stay strong and we will be ok!! :)
    -sj

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  3. Thank you for your response. I think I'm making the right move too by moving into a place that will be easier for me to move around in. If this surgery goes well, I will most likely have the other hip done over the summer.

    My biggest concern is getting back to work. I teach at risk kids and it's very hard for me to just pick up and leave, not knowing exactly when I will be back. I plan on returning 5 weeks post-op. Do you think that's realistic? I'm not a sit at my desk kind of teacher, but I guess if I had to I could. I think it's more beneficial for me to be sitting at my desk and working with the kids than not being there at all.

    I definitely will invest in a grabber gadget. My mom will probably come and spend a lot of time with me the first week after the surgery which will be a help. Have you used a CPM machine before? Did you need help getting in and out of it?

    We are at a great hospital. I know Dr. Y would never be employed there if he wasn't one of the best. Still, it scares me he hasn't done as many of these surgeries as the gurus of hip scopes for FAI.

    Maybe we'll bump into each other at a post-op appointment one day!

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  4. I think it is definitely realistic to return to work in 5 weeks but you could still be on crutches...you may have to return part time first but then again you could bounce back fast..so I think 5 weeks you could def be back..I started back after 6 weeks part time working back to full time. You will probably be doing more desk sitting first but at lest you will be there..but don't push it...you need to let you body be your guide..healing is most important..you don't want to rush back and then have a relaspe because you pushed yourself to quickly..trust me I understand worrying about this because I do the same but you really won't know the situation until after your surgery it depends on what they do during surgery, how much damange, and how your body reacts..sorry I can't be more helpful w/ that info. My recovery time was actually very different between both surgeries...I was actually on crutches longer on my first surgery than 2nd due to the microfracturing they did on surgery #1
    Yay for getting gadget grabber! :) I am glad your mom will be there to help you out..first week will be the hardest but it will get better..I am glad she will be there for you! :)
    I have not used a CPM machine before but they did say I will be using one for this surgery I heard it was somewhat uncomfortable but can be very helpful..so if it helps healing then I am game..will you be having one?
    We are in good hands and I think are DR's will do well..I spoke w/ Dr Kelly in NYC (the hip guru) and he said both of our DR's are very well trained w/ these surgeries and he agreed w/ my boston dr's reccommendation....plus we are going to to a hospital w/ some of the best Dr's in the country (don't worry I am really nervous too so I just keep reminding myself this:) )
    That would be funny if we bump into each other at Post op apts..there is definitely a possibility we could..we will have to compare notes :) I think good health is in our future!!!

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  5. Hi again,

    i'm glad you were able to speak with dr kelly. Did you go to NY to see him or did you speak over the phone? I was looking at his website this morning and it's probably the most helpful site I've visited so far (besides blogs and discussion boards). Did he really say my doc is well trained or are you just saying that to make me feel better?!?

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  6. I ended up speaking w/ his PA through him and he had some of my medical records..and his PA talked to Dr Kelly and relayed the info to me. I decided after speaking w/ his PA I didn't need my visit w/ him (which I had booked for this weekend) since I would have had to pay for it because he doesn't take my health insurance and he wouldn't have given me any new info and he agreed w/ what the DR's here said and I can't have surgery w/ him because it would take $30,000 because he doesn't take my health insurance. But I still went to NYC for one last hurrah before surgery and it definitely helped my mental well being..it was nice to take my mind off surgery for a momment. LOL..he really did say that..DR yen actually worked under Dr Philipon the TOP TOP GURU and Dr Kelly did as well...I really do believe both of us our in VERY GOOD HANDS!! We will be celebrating our healthy hips soon!! :)

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