Waiting In Limbo!

My ode to "Blue" My Favorite Color and my Current Mood!

Sorry I haven't written much lately, but my hip life has been in limbo. I saw Dr. W for my 2nd opinion, but unfortunately he had a total opposite opinion than Dr. R (You don't understand how that could be...I don't understand either..they both had the same MRI and X-rays).
Dr. W feels I could still have a lot of issues with pain post hip replaement and possible risk for side effects due to my particular hip and body? He also said the surgery will not help my psoas issue either...ugh! I was suppose to hear back from Dr. W last week after he spoke to a few other Dr's at Baptist Hospital to discuss my case as well as talk to Baptist's radiologist to discuss my MRI's from Children's, and get their opinion. He was suppose to get back to me within 48 hours, but it has been over a week and still no call. I have left messages for him at his office, they keep saying he will call me back, but nothing yet. They also said I just got to keep calling him to stay on top of him. I am not sure why I need to chase him down to get answers to an appointment I already paid for when he promised me he was going to get back to me asap with the information he couldn't give me at he appointment. Getting in touch with a surgeon is almost as difficult as getting a call through to the President (well not that I ever tried to call the President, but I imagine there is a big level of difficulty with doing that ;) )! This is why it has been so hard for me to write a post, because for the first time I am speechless. I really don't know what to say. Also I was told early on in life " If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all"......... ;)

So until I get more info I am at a standstill with my hip and my pain, and with a complete lack of understanding on what to do next. Unfortunately my hip has been feeling worse lately (the awful cold rainy weather we are having currently here isn't helping the situation). I am thinking the only move at this point while I am waiting is...A. a third opinion or B. moving to Hawaii (just to help with the weather situation at least)????

So while I am waiting in "limbo land" I do have some cool/interesting news to pass on that has put a smile on my face;)

1. Me and a few of my "hipster" friends have made it onto the Millennial Medical In-Motion Crutches website along with 26 professional athletes! Yes us "hipsters" are a strong bunch!!! Very cool to see us ladies with hip "issues" being represented !!  I am picture #27 (same pick that is to the left of this post): http://www.millennialmedical.com/Content/User-Gallery/
They are the best crutches (and they are DEFINITELY not paying me to say that..lol), and they have lasted me two years so far. I am due for another pair soon especially with my upcoming surgery (whenever that may be). Maybe they can hook me up with some sparkly pink ones now that I am on their website ..wink wink;)
2. My boyfriend made his first official music video and my hip story is kind of in it (a twisted version, but nonetheless). You can check that out here: http://vimeo.com/23670585
You can also check out my other blog to get the full story on this music video:http://sj-sarahinthecity.blogspot.com/2011/05/she-walks-in-beauty.html

Video Still From "She Walks In Beauty"

Once I hear back from Dr. W I will give you a better update! Until then..Peace!

New Chapter: Dr R.

New Chapter: Went to my new hospital and met with Dr. R. It was strange going to an "adult hospital" to meet with a hip surgeon ;). At Children's it's all bright and warm and friendly.....and loud! It has fishtanks and balloons....I know, I know..it's a kids hospital, but being a patient at a hospital there is something to say about a comforting atmosphere. Nothing agaisnt my new hospital..it was just so bare and "hospitaly" . The waiting room was the size of a cubicle for Dr. R unlike Dr M.'s large colorful waiting room with stickers and stuff ;) I just started feeling anxious in there..it gave off a pretty depressing vibe..there was no covering it up..I was in a hospital!

I brought my hip book with me that weighs so much now that D had to carry it. My hip book contains all my Dr's reports, all my surgical reports along with the pictures they give you post surgery, as well as my PT papers, Dr's Notes, Cd's of my X-rays and MRI's. This is actually very helpful to have when you have a situation like mine, because when you see a new Dr. for a chronic situation it gives them a full medical view of the area of concern. After 4 years of surgeries, recoveries, etc. I forget a lot of what has happened now..dates, how many cortisone injections, etc. this is why the hip book helps and all my Dr's have found it very helpful too. So to you fellow hipsters out there I guess I would suggest having a hip book if you don't. 

I waited about an hour in the waiting room (this seems to be the average wait time in a surgeon's office..my longest wait time was 4 hours!) Name called:
First up was another Dr who introduced himself, but I forgot his name..oops! He wanted to get all my basic info down, took my MRI and x-ray cd's and loaded them into the computer, and did a physical exam of me. Then took all the papers from my hip book he needed and left the room. About 5 minutes later him and Dr. R came in.

My first impression of Dr. R is that he seemed very nice and put together, he was older than Dr. M, and he was a guy who wanted to get to the point...no hour visits like I had with Dr. M (and I don't think there will be hugs either ;))  Dr R and the Dr whose name I don't remember (sorry doc) started looking at my MRI's together like I wasn't even in the room... discussing my hip and all the problems they saw..I didn't completely grasped the whole converstion..they were having fun using real high level medical jargin ;) I really wanted in on this conversation....I should have went to medical school!

Then Dr. R said to me "I know all your hip surgeons, we actually have all been on my boat together" I wanted to say..well that's nice ..it's good you all keep operating on me, so you can afford to go sailing around together...oh snap! ...but I kept my big mouth shut and said something like.."that's cool". ;) He then proceeded to do a physical exam on me pointing things out to Dr "I don't know his name". At that point he asked to see my surgical incision, and then told me to have a seat. He told me he had a long conversation with Dr. M about me and my hip which I thought was good...he got right to the source!

Dr. R then opened up his brief case which I though was just a regular briefcase, but the surprise was on me...it was filled with hip parts! He then put a fake hip in my right hand and then went on to say...." You are a tall girl so you could handle this size metal ball, but you are also still in child bearing age, so we will go with a  ceramic ball. I don't think we should go with a ceramic pocket, because it could actually squeak at times, and then you couldn't sneak up on people...so we can put a plastic cup into the metal socket instead which will give you a chance to do a lot of weight bearing on this hip, and still also be able to have children if you choose to do so...but if you do you may have to have a c-section instead of natural.  I just looked at him with the fake hip in my hand and a few tears rolling down my cheek and said, "Are you saying that my hip is definitely damage to the point that I have to have a hip replacement. That all three surgeries to fix my hip didn't do anything...at all!" He said, .."Yes!"

Even though I thought this would be the outcome I didn't think it would be so clear and definite..especially because of my age and all the surgeries I did to fix my hip. I wasn't expecting my reaction ....which was a mixture of sadness, anger, and panic! All the questions I had for him started slipping out of my head into an abyss somewhere, and for the first time I had nothing to say. Eventually I came up with a few questions mostly about recovery. He said the average stay in the hospital is 3 days, they put the hip in using a minimally invasive hip replacement procedure through your posterior region, so he wouldn't being going through the same area that has been operated on before. He did say I was at a disadvantage with 4 surgeries done in my hip (well I guess the screw removal was a waste of time since now I am removing the whole damn hip...ok I am still a bit angry ;)), but he has worked on many people in their 20's and 30's with similar situations. He said after that I would be home for a month with visiting nurses and PT and then within 3 months I should be walking on my own, but it could take 6 months or longer to fully recover. The goal would be that I would have a full functioning hip that could do all the things that I can't do now...pretty much the hope is that I can have my life (and hip ) back!..and that would be amazing!!! I don't remember what life was like with out this pain anymore.

At this point my body feels very weak ....it has been through hell to put it mildly this past year. I have huge muscle loss in my right side along with the other issues (tendons, IT bands, bursitis, sciatic nerve, etc), so I have a lot to think about when choosing when I should do this. My physical therapist said to me that he feels this will be great for me, but he would like me to get a little stronger first so I have the best chance for this surgery to be a huge success. I also have a call into Dr. M. to discuss my visit w/ Dr. R.  So to conclude this very long new chapter: Going to get myself a new hip! When :TBD ....will get back to you on that :)

SIDE NOTE....

So I just wanted to give you the 411 :) I didn't make it to my Surgeon's apt today w/ Dr R, because while I was so focused on my hip..the flu came around the corner and KO'ed me...big time (and yes I ended up in the hospital..twice..surprise , surprise!)  I kind of feel like I am in that movie "Outbreak" with Dustin Hoffman. Anytime anyone enters the room with me they are wearing a hospital mask...the fun just never ends (yes I am being sarcastic..don't ya know me by now ;) )! They are going to fit me in for another apt in 2 weeks with Dr R., so I will have more hipster updates by then..until then back to bed. The Flu totally sucks!

ps. If you are feel like some other online entertainment besides my hip drama ;) I am currently messing around with a new blog from my bed..one focusing on photos/videos instead of words to express my creative story telling side ;)...it's a total work in progress, but it's keeping my mind off the flu and my hip..you can check it out here at : http://sjzphotography.tumblr.com/  :)
Plus I also have my other "wordy" blog if you haven't checked it out yet. This blog is filled with my musings on all things besides hip as well as interesting interviews with some quite fabulous people that live in my neck of the woods  (examples, photographers, beauty experts, my friend who went to Australia w/ Oprah Winfrey, personal trainers, musicians, and LOTS more)..it's a fun blog to write and hopefully even more fun to read : http://sj-sarahinthecity.blogspot.com/
Ok the flu is telling me to get off the computer and go back to sleep ;) Good Night Hipsters!

THE END!.......

The End! Well not for my blog, because unfortunately the hip saga is continuing, but the end for...
1. Dr M
2. Children's Hospital
3. Saving/ Preserving my hip

I had my final apt with Dr. M ironically on Feb 25th the 1 year anniversary of my SDD open hip surgery w/ Dr M. At one year I was supposed to be recovered from this surgery, but here I am at CH getting a 2 HOUR MRI for both my hips.

A two hour MRI seemed a little bit like a piece of hell when I was first told about it. How can I sit still for 2 HOURS without moving, plus my hips gets so stiff from keeping them in the same position. I was told they could not sedate me or give me medication to relax me, because of the contrast dye they were injecting me with in case of an allergic reaction..ugh! Then they told me they had a ipod system where I could bring my iPod in and at least listen to my tunes while I was MRI'ing ;) So I spent about 4 hours the day before making the perfect most relaxing MRI mix around...all my most favorite chill songs to get me through the  two hours.

Got to CH and got injected with the dye..no reaction..good! Then I had to walk around with my crutches for 20 minutes to move the dye around my body for the MRI..not that easy since the most I have walked around in the past year is possibly 5 minutes..at most. So we did half walking around half lying on the hospital bed moving legs around (almost like a mini PT session ;) ) Then I was ready for the MRI. I told the nurse I had my iPod for the machine..she looked at me with a face I knew no good news was going to come out of.."um, the ipod machine in the MRI room you will be in is broken"...WHAT????? Ok now I was freaking out. So then I said, "well you guys have at least headphones and your own music"... Nurse, "No, but your boyfriend can come in and stay with you"  Ok..so D brought some books into the MRI room and figured he could read to me.... Nurse, "Yea, that won't work, we are giving her ear plugs for the noise..she won't hear you at all"
In the end I made it through the two hours..and due to good behavior I got a 5 min break between the two hips, so an hour..5 min break to stretch..an then the last hour! The last couple of minutes I was going to ask how much longer (but so scared she would say 20 more minutes..which I don't think I could have handled), and then a voice came over the loud intercom saying 2 more minutes, and we will be done..YES!
Next Up: Dr M apt.:
Dr. M pulled up the MRI's.
Left hip looked pretty good...some fraying of labrum..small impingement but overall compensation is probably causing pain.
Right Hip: Totally beyond repair. No labrum... almost complete lost of cartilage in the section that moves when you walk...this is why pain is so constant. Quoting Dr M. "I am a joint/ hip preservationist Dr..I try to preserve hips in young people...but I know when to call Uncle and I am calling Uncle..we were to late in fixing your hip...destruction was pretty bad when I went in there..try to stop it from spreading, but it has and there is a point when there is nothing left to work with, and your hip is at this point.....
I think you should go to the apt. with the Dr I set you up with and find out how to handle your severe arthritis, and see if he can do a hip replacement..it is hard to get a hip replacement approved for someone your age, but you need it, so hopefully it can be done"

CRYING COMMENCES...
*Tears of frustration
*Tears of four years of pain and four painful surgeries/"recoveries" for nothing
*Tears that I will have to move onto a different Dr..for whatever it is worth..Dr M is a wonderful Dr. who has been so helpful and kind, as well as the only surgeon I truly trust. We have been through a lot together the past year and he was extremely supportive, and I truly believe he tried his best to save my hip.
*Tears of what is to come next for me and my hip

I left Children's Hospital speechless...D stopped on the way home to get me McDonalds french fries (a very guilty pleasure of mine that I rarely allow myself to have)
I ate my french fries and crawled into bed, and didn't get up untill the next morning. My head had to much to process..I actually felt so sad by the time I got home..I couldn't even cry.

I woke up the next morning feeling a little clearer and refreshed and realized that this is the end of this section of my hip chapter....can't change the past. Hopefully I have learned a lot from it and that the future will present a life with a pain free functioning hip...fingers crossed.

See New Dr (Dr. R) in 3 weeks about what is next (at an adult hospital ;) ) and will keep you updated on what will happen in my hispter saga......

Screwed?!?!

Today I went for my two week post surgery check up with DR. M (I am really only 1.5 weeks post surgery, but lets not split hairs about it ;) )
To the left is the beautifully drawn masterpiece of my hip by Dr. M. The scrambled mess on the drawing is the artistic version of all my cartilage that is bad/gone/ and or destroyed. I also have no labrum left either (so glad the first two surgeries to repair my labrum worked!...and yes that was me being totally sarcastic)
So The Brief Version:
* Removed Bandages...incision looks ..um lets say..gross..yup that's a good adjective!  It will get better w/ time...he cut into a good 4 to 5 inches of my SDD incision. Good News no infections and it is healing well!
*Stopped Pain Meds (DR M was actually shocked...he said "good job, because I know you must be in pain") Pain meds are like poison to my body..they make me so sick, but on the same note they are a little piece of heaven when you are in severe pain....it is my body's catch-22! Ice, ibuprofen, and rest can take care of me  now.
**Now that the screws are out we will be doing a double MRI of both my left and right hip..yes my left hip also has FAI and is hurting currently..but we are so not going there at the moment. It is a 2 hour MRI..I am actually freaked out by this more than surgery #4 (OK maybe I won't go that far nonetheless not happy about it)...I really don't know how I can stay still in a MRI machine for 2 hours!

So I now have two appointments set up with two different hip surgeons in two different hospitals who do hip replacements..I am not going to rush into this..I want to make sure this is the only way to go..and one opinion at this point won't cut it for me!

Good news I can start to go back to PT next week..just no aqua therapy for a month (boo!), because of the incision.

I guess the best news from all of this is that that screw removal really seemed to have help the sharp pain I was getting in my side..so YAY..a surgery worked..but I couldn't help feeling a little "screwed" leaving my appointment with Dr. M. 


(Picture to the right...2 weeks post op...I put on some make-up and made myself feel more human than patient..it actually picked up my mood ..which is nice after a looooooong 2 weeks ;)

Later Hipsters! xo

Screw It!

4th Hip Surgery: Had to even change my intro to my blog.

So on Jan 12th 2011 I had my three screws that were in my hip taken out. Also I had my IT band lengthened and leftover stiches from surgery #3 removed. As well as a cortisone injection into my hip joint for pain relief and diagnostic means (to check-in on my arthritis situation in my hip). Dr. M felt that the surgery was a success..to define sucess with this surgery:

1. Screws did not break during removal

and I survived..;)

A little pre surgery drama set the tone for the next 3 days:

1. Massive Snowstorm was heading to Boston for the morning of my surgery

2.A relative of Dr. M died the day before and he had to leave right after surgery during the storm to a funeral in NJ (Dr. M called me the night before surgery to tell me this and to go over all the possible outcomes "bad things that could happen" during surgery)

3.I was told by Dr. M that I would have a covering surgeon follow me post operative (lets just put it this way..I wasn't a big fan of the "covering Dr"...enough said)

So a Action Plan was put into effect: Plan is as followed:

 A. D and I packed our bags and headed out the night before surgery to stay with my Dad and my Stepmother who live close by to the hospital

B. We parked my car in the Beth Israel Hospital parking lot to avoid parking issue in Boston..and shoveling!

C. Slept

D. My Dad and D got up at 6:30am and shoveled out my Dad's car (HUGE SNOWSTORM..predictions were correct) while I showered w/ this cleansing shower treatment the hospital wanted me to use (that was the first time I had to do that..maybe because I was at an adult hospital this time around ;) )

E. Made it to the hospital because of my dad's superior driving skills and was the FIRST patient to arrive at the OR for my 8am Check-in (no stickers for being on time..awww i missed the good ole days at Children's Hospital ;) )

F. Dr M arrived at 9am (surgery on)

New Hospital but same old routine..... put on a hospital johnny that was way to big and did not cover my backside....had IV put in...went over my thousand allergies and had and in depth talk with the anesthesiologist (the please don't let me die speech I usually give them ..just to keep them on their toes)... then Dr M and his gang come by and do the greet and meet....then I get the speech about all the what if's.....I then sign my life away on the dotted line....Dr M then autograph's my right hip...Mr. anesthesiologist comes back and gives me the "relaxing med" through my IV (and trust me those meds relax the heck out of you to the point you are almost laughing going into surgery..I think I actually started making jokes, and I was scared out of my wits only a few moments prior)...and then they wheeled me into the OR..Lights Out!

When I awoke..Ok I don't remember much at that point..I do remember that they gave me a container with my screws (a request I made before surgery..and as my friend pointed out why not I paid for them)...I remember having the chills really bad...and I remember I wasn't allowed any visitors..(that kind of sucked.) I think a few hours went by and then I got wheeled to my hospital room. D was there when I got there (at least that is what he told me) in all seriousness I actually don't remember a lot of the first day and night, but D was by my side the whole time so he filled me in. It took me 24 hours before I actually got some sleep..well besides when they knocked me out for surgery...does that count as sleep?? I spent a total of 3 days in the hospital. I felt pretty lousy the whole time I am not going to sugarcoat it for you..there was a lot of pain and the medication made me very sick. I got up on my crutches and walked the hall a little by day 3 and that felt really weird. I only can described it like this: It felt like they sewed a lead weight into my hip. It was heavy, tight, and painful to move, but I did walk and that is what you have to do to move on!

Dr M had to re-open 4 inches of my 12 inch scar from my last hip surgery (it is still covered up with bandages, so I have no idea what it looks like..all I can tell you is that it's real itchy..ugh). I see Dr M in a week for my follow up and I think bandage removal. I am now officially one week post surgery and I am definitely doing better than I was a week ago. My pre- surgery pain has subsided (yay), but I have surgical pain in it's place..it will be interesting to see how my hip will be feeling once it has healed...fingers and toes crossed that it will feel much better. It is truly a pain to be in pain..and that my friends is quite the understatement ;).

Dr M says the first two weeks are the worst....so I will get back to you in a week and let you know how things are..until then I am going to keep on resting and healing!

**Thank You D for staying with me morning, noon, and night for the 3 days in the hospital..I can't thank you enough for being my prince charming!

**Thank you to my family and friends for all your encouragement, love and support!

I Always Think People Are Joking When They Tell Me I Have A Screw Loose ;)

Well actually I have 3 screws that need to be removed!
So to backtrack a moment:
On Christmas Eve I felt a sharp shooting pain in my hip that literally made me scream out loud (I actually think I scared D and his brother). After resting for 10 minutes or so the pain subsided. 48 hours later it happened again..twice! To describe the pain that I felt I believe is virtually impossible...but the only thing I can say it didn't last long, but the sharpness of it took my breath away ...OUCH!
I then developed swelling next to my incision going towards the back of my leg..kind of like a tennis ball under my skin. After a few calls back and forth with Childrens Hospital's on call staff (who are great by the way) I decided to pay them a visit. They waived the "I am to old for Children's Hospital rule" for me that night. So back at CH one more time. They got me into a room in the ER immediately after walking in the door (impressive) ! I had some X-rays done on my hip , was administered pain medication (which did help), and some Zofran for nausea (upset belly due to pain) . After seeing two surgeons and the ER Dr. their  conclusion was that I had no infection, but an abnormality on my X-ray, swelling in my hip (duh), and a very tight IT band and Psoas tendon, as well as tendinitus in a new set of muscles/ tendons?? in the back of my leg. They felt that my "hardware" should be removed/ my body was rejecting the screws and causing some havoc in my hip. On Monday when Dr. M was back at work he looked over my reports and X-rays and felt they were right and has now booked me for surgery.... NEXT WEEK!! I guess this time there really is no waiting game. So 2011 and one more hip surgery........4th time is the charm ????!!!!
 Dr. M is also going to be doing a cortisone injection as well that day into my hip joint for a diagnostic tool and  for possible pain relief as well (there was talk last month at our visit of possibly needing to replace my hip..this is one tool he will be using to see how my hip is doing).
Hopefully the removal of the screws will bring me the pain relief I so desperately need. This hip is really making a mess of things for me and I need it to behave...like NOW!
So at this point I am back on crutches to reduce swelling, and waiting patiently (kind of) for next week to come and get this hopefully LAST surgery over and done with.

I really hope this works...I am done with pain, surgeries, and my hip in general! I will let you know how it goes..until then please keep your fingers crossed for me! Cheers!
(X-ray of hip is post -surgery Feb 2010)